


Learn to love me

by Roosterbytes



Series: Soulmate AUs [3]
Category: Septiplier - Fandom
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More will be added, NSFW, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Soulmate AU, angst I guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7260346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roosterbytes/pseuds/Roosterbytes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beautiful black ink was painted across his skin. The sight made his stomach do flips, his heart soared yet dropped into his uneasy belly. As he rose a shaking hand to trace over the elegant writing on his left pec, he could only think how his soulmate didn’t know he existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How it all began

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sashasanidea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashasanidea/gifts).



> My lovely friend Sashasanidea mentioned I should write another Soulmate Au ages ago and I had a hard time thinking up one. I've had this first chapter done for a little while and some of the second chapter which I may need to redo. The title is still up in the air, but I'll let you know if it'll be changed. I hope you like it lovelies!

Beautiful black ink was painted across his skin. The sight made his stomach do flips, his heart soared yet dropped into his uneasy belly. As he rose a shaking hand to trace over the elegant writing on his left pec, he could only think how his soulmate didn’t know he existed.

 _Mark Edward Fischbach  
June 28th, 1989 -_

Jack had watched Markiplier for quite some time. He remembers when Mark’s full name was ‘revealed’ over time and once the last piece was said, he remembers what it felt like to get his soulmate’s name. It was like someone was gently trailing their finger across his pec, he remembers pausing the video and taking off his shirt in front of the mirror where he watched Mark’s full name be handwritten into his pec. He remembers the shock he felt as he watched it finally settle into his skin. He didn’t imagine he’d get his soulmate like this. His soulmate was a male that he looked up to. Who provided entertainment and happiness in Jack’s life, who helped him through tough times and rough days. Jack thought he’d been dreaming.

Of course when he’d accepted that the name was indeed real, having woken up to seeing it multiple times and after attempts to scrub it from his skin, he sort of panicked. Not only because it was Markiplier, but because it was a MALE. So yes, he had a ‘gay panic’ and avoided Mark’s videos. He may have also tried to watch a lot of porn in hopes to convince himself he was straight. He had felt satisfied when none of the men in the videos had interested him and went about ignoring the name on his pec. He’d even begun to watch Mark’s videos again. But he definitely wasn’t straight. He found himself noticing things about Mark that he hadn’t before his name appeared on Jack’s flesh. And when Mark would unbutton his shirt, fan himself with it, or on occasions, remove it, Jack’s heart sped up and his face heated up. Apparently women still interested him, but so did Mark.

And Jack may have spent countless nights thinking over Mark’s name. He would trace it while looking in the mirror, afraid he’d miss a letter or curve, and over time, he no longer needed to look, even when Mark’s birthdate appeared. He thought about what it meant, what it would mean for him and for Mark. He worried about how it would affect their lives. Worried what would happen to Mark’s channel and if they could survive the distance between them. (They were soulmates, so they had to be able to, right?) He worried about the homophobia and if their families would accept them, but most of all, he worried if Mark would want him.

Jack had to admit he was nothing special. Just a college kid who was bored in his classes and dreamed about video games. He was loud and to some, annoying, but over all, he wasn’t special. Just a generic guy living in a cabin in the woods, who happened to be Irish.

 

The longer Jack watched Mark, the more he craved to interact with the man. He wanted to have long conversations with Mark. To just stare at the man in a comfortable silence with smiles on their faces. To be in his presence and hold him. To kiss him and he really needed to stop thinking about these things because oh boy, did they depress him. And it wasn’t before long that these dreams became shattered by harsh reality. Mark had expressed he didn’t have a soulmate and the few times his shirt came off proved that. His pec was bare of any name despite many flooding the comments saying Mark was their soulmate. Mark didn’t have Jack’s name.. Mark didn’t know he existed. It crushed his heart.

That’s when Jack decided he’d let Mark know he existed. Sure, he’d been debating this idea for ages, but now was a better time than any. He was already neck deep in video games anyway, and it seemed like something he would do. He looked at his Youtube channel, Jacksepticeye, and began to make videos.

Impersonations started off his channel. He’d always liked voice acting and wished he’d be able to pursue it but soon his love for video games took over once more and he began to make gameplay videos. A fake accent was used since he was shy and nervous about putting himself out there but over time he’d gained confidence and began to settle into who he was.

 

His heart soared when Mark followed him. When they first spoke and played together. His heart always raced when he was with Mark, and over the years the effect hadn’t changed. Even now as Jack ran his fingers through his green hair, Mark made his heart do crazy things.

They’d become good friends overtime and Jack couldn’t have been happier. But now that they were good friends, Jack was afraid to lose Mark the moment he told him his real first name. Once ‘Sean’ spilled from his lips, Jack was afraid Mark would see Jack’s name on his pec and abandon him completely. Rationally, Jack knew Mark wouldn’t but the fear ate at him and Jack couldn’t muster the courage to say it.

 

It was when Jack had become desperate for Mark’s hugs to last longer and his lips to touch Jack’s own, did he finally let ‘Sean’ fall from his lips. He watched through Skype as his friend made weird faces at the feeling of Jack’s name being written on his pec. He watched Mark excuse himself and stared at his chair as he waited for the man to return. And Jack cried after Mark came back and made some half-assed excuse that he had things to do before saying goodbye.

Jack cried on and off for days as Mark ignored him. He tried to convince himself it was because Mark was busy, which he probably was, and that it wasn’t because Jack’s name was now permanently on Mark’s skin.

 

After a few weeks, Mark returned, asking to speak with Jack over Skype. Jack stared at Mark’s icon as the man typed instead of speaking to him. Only Jack’s camera and microphone were on and Jack wondered if Mark could see the sadness on his face hidden under the cheerful tone and soft smile.

“Jack, I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while. I’ve been slammed with work and been trying to keep on schedule. How’ve you been man?” The typed words made Jack’s smile falter but he was quick to pick it back up.

“Been alright, youtube makes you crazy busy. Just been keeping up wit it all, ya know? Answerin comments and uploading videos. You okay Mark? Yer video and mic aren’t on.” Jack asked, speaking as normal as he could manage.

“I’m sick and look like crap.” Came Mark’s reply.

“Aw c’mon man, I’m sure you don’t look t’at bad. Yer Markiplier, the heartthrob of Youtube, you always look good. Hell, just check the comments on all yer vids.” Jack chuckled, wondering how long Mark would keep it up this charade. A few moments of silence, Mark’s video came on. He gave a small wave as Jack took in his appearance. He’d definitely been running his fingers through his hair a few times, it looked floofy and a little out of control. His eyes were tired and Jack noticed he never made eye contact with him or the camera.

“See! Ya don’t look t’at bad.” Jack laughed but even he knew there was something missing in it. Mark just nodded. After a moment, a sigh fell from Jack’s lips. His smile fell and moved his headphones down to run his fingers through his hair before rubbing his face. He repositioned his headphones and watched Mark.

“Mark,” at this Mark looked up, “I have yer name on my pec and I think you have mine on yers.” Jack sighed, watching Mark’s face as he nodded.

“Yeah..” Mark sighed out.

“We need ta talk about this. We can’t keep avoidin it ferever.” Jack mumbled, rubbing his face once more.

“I know.” Mark agreed. “Jack, er.. Sean? That sounds weird.. Jack, how long has my name been there? How long have you known?” Mark asked hesitantly.

“A while now. A few years actually. Since yer full name first came out.” His teeth met his lip as he studied Mark’s reaction. This time, Mark was running his hands over his face and through his hair.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you Jack. I sort of freaked out and didn’t know what to do. I just.. I needed time.” Mark explained, staring at Jack for the first time.

“I know. I was like that too when I first found out. Had a ‘gay panic’ and all. Couldn’t believe I had thee Markiplier’s name on my skin.” Jack chuckled weakly, which made Mark chuckle just the same.

“C-can.. Can I see it Jack? My name?” Mark sounded small, vulnerable and Jack stared at him for a moment. He looked so unlike himself. Unsure, nervous, scared.

“Please.” Mark begged and Jack met his eyes once more.

“Yeah.” Jack nodded and stood, removing his headphones and walking to the side to remove his shirt, suddenly nervous and self-conscious. He grabbed his headphones and secured them on his head, hesitating to move.

“Jack?” Mark whispered which caused Jack to sigh. Jack wanted to respond but he knew he’d only be delaying it. He made his way back into his chair, purposely covering his peck as he sat down.

“Are you sure?” Jack inquired.

“Yes Jack, please.” Mark begged again and Jack gave a weak smile before uncovering Mark’s name. He watched the other man’s face, afraid of what he’d see but needing to see it. He watched Mark’s eyes rake over his exposed skin, alternating from Jack’s face to his name.

“Well, ar’ ya gonna say somethin or just stare?” Jack joked weakly, attempting to ease his nerves and the tension in the air.

“I don’t know what to say. My name is on one of my best friend’s chest, meaning we’re soulmates and I.. I just don’t know.” Mark finished weakly before meeting Jack’s gaze again.

“Can I see mine? I mean, cause that way I’m not the only one topless here.. And.. I really want to see it. I need to see it..” Jack murmured, clearly vulnerable. Mark slowly removed his shirt, unbuttoning the flannel and peeling it from his skin. If the atmosphere had been different, Jack would probably be admiring the way Mark removed his shirt, but instead, Jack held his breath. He’d made a big claim stating his name would be on Mark’s pec and he highly doubts Mark would drag it on like this if it wasn’t, but Jack was scared. Seeing his name there would change things.

When Mark’s shirt finally rested behind his back, Jack inhaled another breath, which honestly, was a bad idea. His lungs were full of oxygen, but he was afraid if he exhaled, it’d shatter the image before him--that it would just be a dream. His lungs finally protested and the air flew out of them, body washing with relief despite how vulnerable Jack felt as his eyes traced the letters over and over.

“Jack.. what..” Mark closed his mouth and licked his lips before trying again. “What do we do now?” He sounded as helpless as Jack felt. He’d honestly never thought this far ahead. There was no plan, he didn’t even think he’d reveal his name to Mark, let alone that they’d have this moment. Jack raised his gaze to meet Mark’s own.

“I don’t know..” Jack replied weakly. Silence soon followed as both men were deep in thought. Despite how small this may have seemed to some, it was an overwhelming amount of information that assaulted them mentally, physically and emotionally.

“This is a lot to take in.” Mark sighed out.

“Yeah.” Was all Jack could reply.

“I think I’m gonna head out Jack. Call it a night.” Mark ran his fingers through his hair, clearly distressed.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Night Jack.”

“Night Mark. Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, talk to you tomorrow.”


	2. Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few months, Jack makes the decision to try to fix things as best as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I know it's been a while and I apologize. It's been a bit of an up and down time for me and a lot of things have been going on. A friend of mine from out of state came up for a while, so I was trying to see her as much as I could and I've been trying to spend some time with my family. It's getting more into summer and there's a lot of birthday's coming up which makes it hard on my family. My Nana used to plan tons of Cookouts and although she passed away almost a decade ago, it's still very hard, especially for my Mom. I also haven't been really motivated or inspired but that probably sounds like a ton of excuses so, don't mind me.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Comments and criticisms are always welcome and if there's any typos let me know. **I do read all the comments, I just don't reply because I don't want to sound like a broken record but they mean a whole lot to me so thank you! <3 **

To say everything fell into place after that conversation was an overstatement. Their lives weren’t part of some cutesy story where they confess their undying love and Jack flies over to Mark and they make out on his bed as the sunsets, or whatever it is that people wrote about them. No, this was real-fucking-life and it sucked balls.

They did talk the next day, if you could even call it talking. Their minds were still reeling, Mark’s more than Jack’s. They often spent long spans of time just staring at each other in silence. It was more nerve-wrecking than uncomfortable. It’s like the moment their names had been on display for the other to see was the moment their world turned ‘upside-down’. It was as if there was expectations thrust upon them, not by each other, but by the world. By Society’s ‘standards’ they were supposed to be in love. They should want to hold each other, kiss each other, make love.. Yet they were best friends. They weren’t in love, they didn’t want to hold or kiss the other, if anything, they just wanted things to go back to normal.

After a few months, Jack makes the decision to try to fix things as best as he could. It wasn’t unheard of for Soulmates to lose each other’s names, or for only one person to have the other’s name and Jack figured since Mark had no feelings for him anyway, this would hopefully ‘fix’ everything. He did his research and talked to friends, although they all disagreed with his decision, he thought it was the only way to restore what they once had.

He got make-up and covered up Mark’s name.

He cried after every bit of research, after he talked to every friend, and he sobbed as his shaking hand made blotches over the beautiful name on his pec. Through blurry eyes, he watched as it disappeared bit by bit in the mirror. It was a messy job, even he knew that, but his legs could no longer support him and his hand could no longer grip the sponge which dropped to the floor. He raised his shaking hands and sobbed into them well into the night.

 

It took Jack three days to piece himself together, if only barely. He’s not sure he’s eaten and can’t remember the last drink he had, but he can’t keep declining Mark’s calls anymore. He gets out of bed, unsure if he’d even slept, and trudges to the shower.

He washes sluggishly, trying to enjoy the water attempting to drown out the sorrow in his head before he gets to his pec. The make-up from the first time is still there and he scrubs it off hard and fast, leaving his pec an angry red, but that doesn’t matter because the letters are there, Mark’s name is still there and Jack’s crying all over again.

When he emerges from the shower, he sits in a towel on his bed and stares off into space, tracing the letters over and over as he begins to gather himself enough to put the make-up back on. He doesn’t want to, he really really doesn’t, but he does his best to convince himself it’s the only way because Mark doesn’t have feelings for him, even if Jack’s heart soars at the sight of him. He’s had more times to come to term with his feelings and maybe Mark needs some time too but the irrational part of his brain writes that off and convinces him Mark will never love him and it’s best if he just helps Mark move on.

He’s fully dry by the time he stops tracing the letters, even his hair had dried. He picks himself off the bed and drags his feet over to the dresser, purposefully finding the easiest shirt to remove that won’t mess with the make-up. He’s going to tell Mark, even if he cries the rest of the day, well into the night, he’s got to do it.

The make-up is on again and Jack’s chest looks painfully bare. He wants to scrub the make-up off, rip at it with his nails until Mark’s name reappears but he can’t. Instead he inspects it for any fault in various lightings before throwing on a shirt and making his way to his computer.

Several bottles of water sit out of view on his desk. He’s going to need them to keep from choking on his sobs as he tries to keep himself in check. He breathes a few times, strengthening his mask before he pulls up Skype and presses ‘call’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. Have a wonderful day.
> 
> **This story was written to the song Someday by Nickelback.**


	3. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The image is blurry but it doesn't matter, Jack is so far gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's really no excuse for why I haven't written. I mean, stuff has been busy and what not but eh, I'm tired of giving you guys reasons and excuses. I sat down to write this and although it may not be the best, it's something, for what it's worth. I'm having a very difficult time today but I felt obligated to update this.
> 
> This was written to "Fallen" by Volbeat.
> 
> **WARNING : This chapter has a detailed section that depicts an Anxiety Attack. Please be careful as you read.)**

The ringing echoes inside his head as he stares at the screen before him. The image is blurry but it doesn’t matter because Jack is so far gone. He doesn’t even see the screen, his mind is so far away, his body no longer feels like it’s his. He doesn’t want to do this. He really really doesn’t.

Mark answers his call and Jack’s eyes shift from some random spot on his screen to the man before him. Jack plasters on a smile and it must be convincing because Mark smiles back, although worriedly.

“You okay, man? I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for a few days. What’s up?” Mark asks and Jack does his best to stay composed despite everything in him screaming. His body is shaking with the effort and his leg is going crazy as it bounces up and down.

“I..” Jack begins but he feels his body quiver as he thinks over what he needs to say. He’s not ready for this, he’s not prepared. He thought he was but he was so very wrong. He wants to touch Mark’s name, wants to trace it. His hand is moving on it’s own and he has to force it towards his shoulder where he scratches an itch he didn’t have. Teeth meet the soft flesh of his cheek and he begins chewing hard until blood is drawn. The coppery taste doesn’t help ground him, nor does the pain of the sore. A deep breath is inhaled, held until he feels like his lungs are going to explode before exhaled.

“Jack, what’s wrong?” Mark asks, eyes watching for the smallest change in Jack’s face and body. He’s got to do this.. Right? But what if this ruins their relationship even more? What if it’s even more awkward being ‘ex-soulmates’, even though Mark’s name is still there? His brain is spinning and he’s trying to find some sort of grasp but he’s floundering like a fish on land.

“Jack. Jack! Listen to me. You need to try to breathe, okay? I need you to focus on my voice. Can you do that?” Mark’s voice is loud in his ears but he lifts his head, not knowing when it’d fallen, and stares at Mark with wide eyes.

“I need you to listen to me, okay? Focus on my voice, focus on what I’m saying.” Mark urges, making eye contact with Jack. His heart is racing but it feels like it’s being crushed. When had he begun to breathe this fast?

“Breathe with me, okay Jack? Follow what I’m doing.” Mark begins taking loud breaths and Jack watches as best as he can. His head feels muffled but he tries his best to mimic what Mark is doing.

“You’re doing pretty good Jack, just keep it up. Copy what I’m doing, okay?” Mark instructs. Jack’s not entirely sure what the fuck is happening but his body is responding to Mark’s orders. His chest is rising and falling less and less rapidly. He can feel his hands trembling violently in his lap and his legs are bouncing so hard his desk is shaking lightly.

When his breathing begins to match Mark’s, the other man begins to try talking to Jack again.  
“Jack, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Mark asks, doing his best to talk softly to Jack. A firm shake of his head is met with a frown on Mark’s face.

“I.. I need some time right now..” Jack explains, meeting Mark’s eyes before he hits the power button on his computer, not giving Mark a chance to respond. The face Mark makes before the screen turns black is imprinted behind his eyelids.

He stands on shaky legs, placing his headphones down as carefully as he can manage before he makes his way to the kitchen. Food is the last thing he wants but he needs something. He grabs some cereal and a bottle of water before making his way back up the stairs where he sits on his bed, staring into the distance with far-away eyes. Handfuls of cereal disappear into his mouth accompanied by gulps of water as he tries to sort out his head.

 

Jack awakes hours later. He’s not entirely sure when. All he knows is that it was night and now the sun is setting. He briefly hopes he’s some sort of time wizard and he went back in time to before he called Mark. His dead phone tells him otherwise. He ignores it in favor of going into the shower where he sits under the water to debate his life.

 

His skin is ridiculously pruny and he’s had enough of this deep-thinking bullshit. It’s only proved to further bum him out so he decides to get out of the shower to face his phone. As he waits for it to charge, he runs his fingers through his hair in attempts to calm himself. It’s sort of working but his phone going off like crazy is not helping him feel any better. He’s made a mess and now he’s stuck with the consequences.

He doesn’t read any of the messages although his mind picks out words as he scrolls to the bottom. It’s out of habit more than anything but the action puts some sort of normalcy back into his life. He looks up to make sure it’s the right name before he begins typing.

**I’m coming to L.A.**


	4. The calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This encounter would lay out what happened next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again lovelies. It's been a while, though that means more to you then to me. ~~I don't have any concept of time.~~ I wrote this on my phone so I don't know how long this is but hopefully it'll tie you all over for a small bit. Take care lovelies. -E

Everything had finally caught up to Jack. Even though his stress and anxiety were high, his body was taking a toll on those sleepless nights and unfed days. The plane was rocking lightly as it flew through the air. Jack was thankful for the window seat, which he rested his head upon and gazed out it. His eyes fluttered as he took in the ocean below before finally closing and giving in to sleep.

When he awoke, it was to the seatbelt sign flashing and the flight attendant speaking. They were going to land soon and the thought wiped some of the grogginess from his mind. His stress and anxiety levels were rising again at the thought of meeting Mark at the airport. Their first meeting since they'd found out they were soulmates. Jack dreaded the encounter. He didn't want to see how much their friendship had changed. He ran his fingers through his hair in attempts to soothe himself while he readied himself to face Mark.

 

Jack walked as slow as he could towards baggage claim where Mark would be waiting. He still wasn't sure what to say or do. How does someone greet their best friend turned soulmate who they love but doesn't love them back? He didn't know and the thought just made him feel worse.

His palms were sweating and he's not entirely sure how he hadn't fallen flat on his face yet. It felt like his body was shaking all over with how stressed he was and how shot his nerves were. He was walking towards Mark and Mark was walking towards him. This encounter would lay out what happened next. Would they hug and talk? Would they stand awkwardly. Would Jack have to go back home? Would they never talk again? Too many questions he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

There was a smile on Mark’s face and that made Jack breathe just a bit easier. He did his best to smile back, despite how tired he was. Mark looked gorgeous despite the bags under his eyes and his messy hair. Honestly, his hair just made him look more kissable. 

Mark was the one to initiate the hug and the relief it caused to surge through Jack’s body made him want to cry.

“Hey man. How was your flight?” Mark asked before pulling back from the hug.

“The scenery was gorgeous from what I saw while awake.” Jack yawned.

“You mean, thee Jacksepticeye slept?” Mark fake gasped, which made Jack chuckle and smile wider.

“I would never! Sleep is for the weak!” Jack joked back, which had them erupt into giggles. It was a nice relief from everything that had been going on. He wished tomorrow would be like this but knew it wouldn't happen. They were both tired and had a lot to talk about during Jack’s stay, so he planned to enjoy tonight as much as possible.


	5. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His heart is racing and he’s so happy that Mark hasn’t moved his hand away. He’s so happy for the progress they’d made in just a day despite the setback from earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I know it's been a while but I want to let you know I'm **not** abandoning this story. I know I'm constantly apologizing for these infrequent updates so I wanted to share this **Author's Note** I wrote in another story which'll be included in the **End Notes**.
> 
> **Thank you all for being so patient and understanding with me.** I hope you enjoy it.

Buttons were clicking wildly from the frantic movement of their fingers on the controllers. Mark’s lip was in between his teeth while Jack’s tongue stuck out to the side as they focused on the video game before them. It was a frantic battle between the two as they tried to knife each other, only for one of them to get headshotted from a sniper across the map.

“Ooohhh you can suck on every inch of my lower intestines!” Jack shouted angrily over the sound of Mark laughing loudly beside him.

“Whose fuckin idea was it to include NPCs?” Jack huffs angrily, shoulders bunching up as he holds the controller closer to his chest.

“Your idea, you dingus.” Mark chuckles, finally calming down before another shot rings out.

“Oh come on!” Mark shouts this time as he gets shot.

“Got ‘em.” Jack laughs, watching Mark pout out of the corner of his eyes.

“Go suck a dick.” Mark huffs in false anger.

“Only if it’s yours.” The words are out of his mouth without his permission and Jack’s eyes widen at them. He’s ruined the mood, he just knows it.

“Septiplier away!” Mark tries to joke, but the slight uncomfortableness in his voice gives him away to Jack who simply smiles back.

 

It takes a bit of time for the mood to pick back up again and both seem to breathe a little bit easier. They decided to settle down with some Netflix while they ate and soon they’re laughing once more at the ridiculous antics on the screen. Jack’s heart soars every time Mark laughs or smiles. He tries his best not to constantly look at Mark but he can’t help it. He’s been in love with Mark so long, wanted this so long, it’s hard for him to not to.

He hadn’t realized how high his hopes were until he watches them crumble before his very eyes. They’re on their second movie when he feels it. Mark’s hand is warm and gentle on top of his. He can feel the calluses on Mark’s fingers and the soft skin touching his own. His heart is soaring and he takes a brief glance to assure himself it’s real. The sight doesn’t disappoint him and the soft smile on Mark’s face causes one to appear on his own.

Mark’s hand sits gently on top of his for quite some time which allows Jack to gain the courage to entwine their fingers. Granted, his palm is facing down but he can still trap Mark’s fingers in between his own. His heart is racing and he’s so happy that Mark hasn’t moved his hand away. He’s so happy for the progress they’d made in just a day despite the setback from earlier. Which makes it all the more crushing when Mark recoils from his touch a moment later, shoulders tense as he puts his hands on his thighs and refuses to look at Jack. Jack does his best not to let it show just how much it hurts. His chest feels like it’s being crushed and his stomach has sunk so low in his gut like an anchor in the ocean. A lump has formed in his throat, making it difficult to breathe as he tries to watch the movie through blurry eyes. He’s an absolute mess but he can’t let Mark know. If Mark finds out how in love Jack is with him, surely their friendship would end. So he carries on watching the movie, forcing himself to laugh when needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note :** http://archiveofourown.org/works/6718708/chapters/17542648


	6. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes your mind is against you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. A lot has gone on but today is a good day so I decided to get this done. It's still slow going but next chapter things are going to kick off, promise! Progress will be made!

It’s too early, way too early. The sun has barely risen but Jack is wide awake, pacing his room. A nightmare had woken him up and it was the reason he was still awake. 

Things had been going well in his dream at first. Mark and him were hanging out, playing games before they both laughed themselves silly. Jack had ended up falling against Mark’s shoulder, holding his belly as loud laughter spilled from his upturned lips. When the laughter finally died down, Jack wiped his eyes and looked up to see Mark staring down at him. Jack smiled and Mark had smiled back before leaning upwards to capture Mark’s lips with his own. He’d almost made it before Mark shoved Jack hard, causing him to land on the floor. Jack looked up at Mark and he looked so angry.

_“You’re not my soulmate! You’ll never be my soulmate.” He had growled. Jack opened and closed his mouth multiple times, trying to understand what was happening._

_“Who would want someone like you as their soulmate? You’re thin and lanky. There’s much better men and women, and then there’s you.” Mark had seethed, fists clenched at his side._

_“B-but Mark.. we’re.. The names..” Jack tried helplessly._

_“Your name isn’t on my chest.” Mark laughed, unbuttoning his shirt and showing Jack. Sure enough, Jack’s name was gone._

_“No… no.. T-this is a joke right? Mark..” Jack stood himself on shaky legs and cautiously walked over to Mark, hand extended. He had touched Mark’s pec for a second before Mark swiped his arm away._

_“Don’t touch me! Don’t ever touch me!” He shouted before raising his hand and pointing at the door._

_“Get out!”_

_“M-Mark, we.. we can talk about this..”_

_“Get out of my house! Get out of my life! I don’t want you here!” Mark shouted, shoving Jack towards the door._

Jack came back to himself when he felt his knees hit the carpet below him. He was trembling, tears pouring from his eyes down to his quivering lips. He needed to talk to Mark.. they needed to talk about this.

 

He didn’t know how to start. Every time felt like a bad time and he kept putting it off. In all honesty, it was because he was scared. Mark had the ability to crumble Jack in an instant with just a few words. How can one person have so much power over you? It’s not fair.

A sigh fell from his lips and Mark ended up pausing the game they were playing. It took Jack a second to realize before he faced Mark.

“Jack, is something wrong?” Mark gently asked.

“No.” Jack sighed again, causing Mark’s eyebrow to raise.

“Jack, you can talk to me about anything.” Mark gave a soft smile and Jack put his controller down.

“Can we go to your room to talk about this?” Jack asked and Mark looked taken back for a second before nodding.

“Sure.”


	7. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire scenario was a walking nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while. This is short because I feel this is a good place to stop the chapter. I hope you like it nonetheless.

Jack’s nerves were on high alert and it wasn’t just because he was on Mark’s bed about to ask him to take his shirt off. This entire scenario was a walking nightmare. He had to talk to his best friend about their friendship, the fact they were soulmates and maybe, hopefully, a future relationship. So yeah, Jack was really fucking nervous.

He took a deep breath in attempts to compose himself to start off the conversation, considering they’d both been quiet and Mark had been patiently waiting for him to tell him what they were going to be talking about.

“Mark.. I..” Jack sighed. “I don’t know how to.. How ta talk about this. We’re..” He gestured between them with his hand. “We’re best friends, ya know.. And we’re also soulmates. I-I know it’s strange to think of it t’at way, I’ve ‘ad time to get used ta that fact, but..” Jack sighed again, holding his face in his hands for a brief moment. He felt Mark’s eyes on him, waiting for him to continue.

“Alright..” Jack sighed, pulling his hands away from his face and instead hooking his fingers under the shirt of his collar. He pulled the clothing off before placing it in his lap. He slowly turned his body to face Mark, still clearly not looking at the man. He heard Mark suck in a breath, causing him to close his eyes.

“Yer name.. Is right here. The ‘proof’, is here. An.. I don’t know..” Jack floundered helplessly, fingers curling into his palms.

“Jack, look at me.” Mark’s voice was calm and it only made Jack more scared.

“Jack.” Mark tried again and finally Jack turned his head and opened his eyes to meet Mark’s own. They appeared to be searching his face the same way he was searching Mark’s. He felt vulnerable under Mark’s gaze. Mark’s name was there, bared on his pec and he had yet to see his own. He was afraid it wasn’t even there anymore.

“Can I..” They both started before stopping.

“You first.” Jack mumbled, flicking his thumbnail.

“Are you sure?” Mark asked.

“Yeah.”

“Can I.. touch it? My name I mean.” Mark finally showed some of the nervousness that Jack felt and in a sense, it relieved him. He wasn’t the only one nervous about this whole exchange. He wasn’t the only one vulnerable.

“If you want..”Jack mumbled, cheeks flushing pink. There was a brief pause before Mark’s hand slowly and hesitantly made it’s way to Jack’s pec. It was as if Mark was afraid he’d startle Jack.  
When Mark’s fingers made contact with his skin, Jack let out the breath he’d been holding. He felt Mark’s calloused fingers trace over the black script on his pale skin before tracing the letters. Although Jack wasn’t exactly facing him, he watched Mark’s face through it all. He looked a mixture of confused, shocked and in awe. It stirred something in Jack’s belly but he remained quiet, afraid to say or do anything. After what felt like minutes, Mark’s eyes met his and they simply gazed at each other.

“What were you going to ask?” Fell gently from Mark’s lips in a hushed voice, his fingers still gliding across Jack’s skin.

“Can I see my name?” Jack practically choked out. It took Mark a second to register his request and that second felt too long. Jack’s anxiety spiked in fear that his name had disappeared.

“Yeah.” Was all Mark replied before pulling his hand away and unbuttoning his shirt. Jack watched every movement Mark made while constantly checking his face. He held his breath as each button unclasped before the shirt finally fell behind Mark.

His eyes watered at the sight. There on Mark’s pec, was his name.


	8. Every good thing must end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I need to think about this. It's a lot all at once, you know?"
> 
> “Yeah. I get that. I need to think about this too.” Jack smiles softly, hoping it doesn’t falter while Mark smiles back, just as softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I'm bad at schedules and frequent updates? Cause I sure do. Time doesn't really exist for me and a few bad things happened. I tried to make this fluffy but eh, I'll let you see for yourself.
> 
> I do feel incredibly bad that it takes me WEEKS to update. It's inconsistent and most people have probably left by now. For those of you who have remained, thank you. I hope I don't disappoint any of you.

A hiccup fell from his lips and it took him a moment to realize he was crying. Tears rolled down his cheeks and Mark’s eyes widened, concerned.

“Jack?” Mark questioned, raising his hand without a second thought. He went to cradle Jack’s face but Jack beat him to it, turning his face towards the hand as hiccups shook his frame. Mark pulled him into a hug, completely forgetting the fact they were both shirtless. Comforting Jack was more important than that.

“I.. I.. was afraid that.. M-my na-me wouldn-t be there..” Jack hiccuped, burying his face in Mark’s shoulder. His hands were on Mark’s shoulderblades, keeping the man as close to him as he could while one of Mark’s hands rubbed up and down his back.

“It’s there Jack, your name is there.” Mark whispered in a hushing tone, doing his best to comfort Jack.

“I know.. I know.. I’m-I’m jus so relieved.” Jack hiccuped and laughed at the same time.

“Thank god..” Jack whispered, smile on his face as he pulled his face out of Mark’s shoulder. He pulled back just enough to look at Mark in the eyes. He smiled softly, red, watery eyes searching Mark’s own molten chocolate. Blush swarmed across his face as he felt Mark’s hand against his cheek as his thumb brushed the tear tracks from Jack’s left cheek. Mark’s smile was soft and it seemed he was staring at Jack as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world. Jack leaned his face against Mark’s hand and that seemed to break the spell on them. Mark kept his hand there for a moment before lowering it to his side. He turned his head to cough in his right hand, a blush dancing across his face as well.

“So.. um.. Our names are definitely there.. Uh.. what do we do about this?” Mark refused to meet his gaze and Jack pulled back when Mark’s arm began to unwind from around his ribs. Jack did his best to stomp out the pulling in his chest. It felt like his heart was being pulled from each side and he had to remind him that although he had been in love with Mark for years, Mark only recently found Jack’s name.

“I don’t know? What do you think we should do?” Jack giggled nervously, running his fingers through green locks.

“Should we..” Mark cleared his throat and Jack swore he saw the man’s face turn a deeper shade of red.

“Should we.. kiss?” Mark questioned, obviously uncertain of his words. Jack’s face flared up and he almost choked on his tongue. He was absolutely not expecting Mark to say that.

“D-do you want to?” Jack choked out, licking his lips nervously. Sure he’d been waiting for this, but was Mark even comfortable with the thought, much less the action? Jack watched Mark’s face as the man ran his hand through red and black locks.

“Yeah?” Mark replied nervously.

“Is that a question or an answer?” Jack began biting his bottom lip a bit.

“Do you want to?” Mark asked.

“Yeah.” Jack practically breathed it out and mentally scolded himself for it.

“I mean..” Jack cleared his throat.

“It’d help us figure out how we feel about each other?” Jack tried to explain his answer.

“Yeah..” Mark nodded in agreement. The two fumbled to situate themselves so they could try the kiss. It was almost like they were awkward highschool teenagers. If only one of them was rubbing their arm and looking at the ground, they’d fit the stereotype.

“You ready?” Mark asked.

“Is that what you say to everyone you’re about to kiss?” Jack joked nervously.

“Only to you.” Mark tried to joke back.

“Awww, Markimoo, I’m touched.” Jack raised his hand and placed it over his heart, over Mark’s name. Mark chuckled lightly at it and they both felt the tension ease a little. They both scooted a little closer to each other and began to lean in, bonking noses briefly.

“Turn your head to the right a bit.” Mark mumbled.

“My right or your right?” Jack replied.

“My.. uh.. Your right.” Mark figured he was already leaning on his right anyway. He watched Jack tilt his head a bit, exposing some more of his throat. Mark gulped audibly.

“Like this?” Jack asked, voice small.

“Yeah.” Mark cleared his throat as his voice squeaked a little. Jack rose his hand, hesitantly moving it to Mark’s jaw before resting against it. They looked from the other’s eyes to their lips multiple times before they both slowly moved forward. It was a little awkward and they definitely didn’t miss the first time, bursting into giggles, before trying again.

The moment their lips brushed, they felt the other’s breath before finally connecting. Warmth flooded through Jack’s body and he felt his body relax and lean into Mark’s. His face leaned into Mark’s hand and Mark moved it to angle Jack’s head better. He doesn’t know if Mark’s eyes are closed or not, but they’re still kissing, so that has to be something, right? He feels Mark pull back and his mind flails.

“One more?” Jack whispers. “I don’t think I know how I feel, just yet.” Of course that was a lie. He knew exactly how he felt, but there’s no way he was going to tell Mark this early. He didn’t want to be that vulnerable. He trusted Mark, but if Mark didn’t feel the same way, there was nothing the man could do and Jack wasn’t about to make him try to love him.

“One more.” Mark repeats, this time surging back in. Their lips are moving this time and they’re leaning into each other without realizing it. Their jaws are moving as their lips clash together, over and over. Jack’s head is swimming but all he can focus on is Mark, Mark, Mark. The feeling of his hand cradling Jack’s jaw, his warm soft lips, his stubble rubbing against Jack’s own and their chests just barely touching. When had they gotten that close?

It’s over too soon despite it feeling like hours had gone by. When they disconnect, Jack immediately wishes he could swarm back in and capture Mark’s lips once more. Instead he backs up and searches Mark’s face just as Mark does to his own. They’re breathing a little heavier than normal, with slightly more shallow breaths.

“That was..” Jack manages to get out.

“Yeah..” is all Mark can seem to reply. Jack decides to take a risk.

“Did you feel anything?” He does his best to hide the fear that rumbles inside him.

“Did you?” Mark asks instead and Jack feels his stomach drop, chest feeling cold. Jack stares at something to the side, his flannel, before looking up through his lashes at Mark’s face.

“Yeah.. I did.. But did you?” Jack’s heart is racing for multiple reasons and he wishes he could calm it down.

“I.. I think so.” Mark sounds uncertain and Jack wants to get up and leave because this can’t be his answer.

“What does that mean?” Jack tries to get a more straightforward answer but doubts he will.

“I think I felt something.” Mark’s voice gives away just how vulnerable he’s feeling and Jack wonders if his own had sounded like that.

“Do you want to..” Jack gestures between them.

“Try kissing again?” Mark finishes and Jack only nods in response this time.

“I think I need to think about this. It’s a lot at once, you know?” Mark says, grabbing his flannel and putting it on, over his shoulders and Jack’s watching Mark’s hands work the buttons while also staring at his name.

“Yeah. I get that. I need to think about this too.” Jack smiles softly, hoping it doesn’t falter while Mark smiles back, just as softly. Jack averts his eyes a moment later and leans across the bed to grab his shirt as well. He throws it over himself and really wishes he had a hoodie because, boy, does he feel vulnerable right now. Jack really wishes he’d done this in his own room, that way Mark could leave whenever he wanted instead of waiting for Jack to.

“I’m going to get something to eat. Do you want anything?” Mark asks, throwing a thumb over his shoulder towards the door.

“No thanks. I’m going ta go to my room. Answer comments and all that.” Jack waves his hand in the air before standing and following Mark out of his bedroom. In all honesty, Jack was going to sit on his bed and think about everything that had just happened while he sat in his own negative thoughts. They’d already begun on his trek to his room and they weren’t going to stop now, even if he wanted them to.


	9. Tossing and turning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack's final day is off to a good start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyy! It's been almost a month but I hope this chapter makes up for some of it. (:
> 
> Life got a bit out of hand and a lot of bad news came up but we're working to handle it the best we can.
> 
> This chapter was written on my phone so I don't know if words are missing or if there's typos. It's like 7:46am and I have yet to sleep. :D

Jack's time with Mark was dwindling away and they had yet to find out where they stood. And it honestly didn't seem like they were going to before Jack left for Ireland. The thought twisted something deep inside Jack's chest and he had to take a moment to remind himsel that there was still time.

Despite all the negative thoughts that had plagued him after their kiss, one good one stood out. Mark had Jack's name on his pec, which meant he had to have at least a little bit of feelings for Jack. And Mark said he felt something when they kissed. Jack's mind refused to dwell on the fact Mark said he _thought_ he felt something.

With these newfound thoughts, Jack decided he'd try to be more domestic about their relationship. He took it upon himself to help Mark about the house and contribute more, as if they were a couple. Kisses were thrown out the window along with hand-holding, while cuddling was rare. It pained Jack, but he shoved those feelings deep down and did his best to be content with the relationship they had now. And Mark seemed to appreciate that.

 

It was Jack's last day and he was just as confused where they stood as soulmates. The domestic life had worked pretty well and they got back into their rhythm but it wasn't what Jack wanted. Well, it is.. But he wanted more. He wanted to hold Mark. To cuddle with him, hold his hand and kiss those luscious lips. But he couldn't. Mark needed time and Jack was going to let call the shots.

Jack ran his hand through his own green locks, lightly tugging them along the way. He was hoping his trip here would've given him more answers than questions but it seems he lucked out.

With a sigh, he removed the covers from his body and sat up, throwing his legs to the side. Every muscle ached and groaned for him to lay back in bed, but he fought against it and walked into the kitchen.

Once again, he was the first one up. It wasn't surprising seeing how Mark's sleeping schedule was messed up. He walked around in circles for a second, trying to remember where the coffee was, still a little disoriented from sleep.

Once the coffee was set to brew and his mug ready beside it, he began to go through cupboards, remembering they'd bought waffle mix.

"Jack.." Mark's voice was distant but Jack was still able to make out his name, even if the sound had caused him to jump and hit his head on an open cupboard.

"Jaaack.." With an eyebrow raised, he began his trek over to Mark's room, unsure of why the other man was calling for him so early in the morning. He could always get up and come to the kitchen to talk to him.. Or maybe he couldn't. Jack felt a bit more alert at the thought, pace quickening as he continued to hear his name.

"Mark?" He called, rapping his knuckles on the man's bedroom door.

"Jaack.." It sounded like a groan and Jack was getting worried now.

"Mark, I'm coming in." Jack swung the door open, the words in his throat dying on his tongue. He hadn't expected to walk in on this.

Mark appeared to still be asleep and Jack thanked whatever God was up there for that. He couldn't imagine what awkward conversation would come out of this if Mark were awake. There's not exactly any way to address walking in on your fri-soulmate to hear them moan your name as they ground themselves against their bed, clearly aroused. Jack averted his eyes, face flushed that spread to his ears and down his neck. He could still see Mark out of the corner of his eye, so he rose a hand to shield it. He could absolutely walk out of the room, he knew he could, but his legs refused to move as he listened to Mark moan his name along with various other sexual noises that totally weren't going straight to Jack's dick. Not at all.

At some point, Jack parted his fingers and looked inbetween them. The sight shot another burst of heat and arousal through his body and Mark moaning his name along with a praise did not help.

A loud gulp forced itself down this throat and it was at that moment he realized how badly he needed to leave the room to take care of this new problem Mark had caused. Slowly he took steps backwards, unable to tear his eyes away from the mouthwatering scene before him.

Once he got a grasp on the doorknob, he turned around and closed the door behind him, legs automatically dragging him to the kitchen where he made a cup of coffee, still in shock of this new event. He was definitely curious what Mark had been dreaming about. Although Jack had a pretty good idea, he wonder d what dream him was doing to drive Mark wild like that.

Once his coffee was downed, he made his way to the shower, making quick work of his clothes. The cool water against his heated flesh felt blissful and he left out a delighted sigh.

After a few moments under the water, he decided to take care of his 'problem'. He briefly thought about how he probably shouldn't jack off in his friend and soulmate's shower to the thought of what he just saw, but the blood rushing south quickly overtook that thought.

His eyes closed as he grasped himself in his hand, leaning back against the shower wall. His eyes closed, drifting to the thoughts of what he'd saw. Mark tossing and turning, grinding his tented boxers into the mattress as he moaned Jack's name, and soon his imagination took that thought and ran away with it. He imagined what it'd feel like having Mark grinding into him. If he really felt as big as he looked and the thought made Jack let out a groan of his own before he shoved his left hand in his mouth to muffle the noise.

Mixed images and scenarios danced around his head and with every one, Jack's hand sped up faster. His brain was focused on everything Mark, from his gorgeous molten brown eyes, to that sexy voice that made Jack's insides quake. His personality that made Jack fall hard and body Jack wanted to trace every inch of. He was truly and utterly fucked, but as long as it was by Mark, he's totally okay with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I was writing the top note "Space is so cool" came on. Mark's voice singing to me as I write a note on a Septiplier fanfic. xD How funny. Have a lovely day!


	10. Author's note : Abandoning work

Hello lovelies,

I’ve been meaning to update for ages and now I’m updating for a different reason.

I had no plan for these stories. They started with an idea that I made up as I went along and although I had plenty of ideas to write with, they never went with the story I was writing at the time. That’s one reason I mainly stuck to short one “chapter” stories. I have to write everything all at once, or I lose the headspace I was in and have to try to refind it, which normally isn’t the same as the original.

But that’s not really why I’m updating now. I’m updating now to tell you these stories : Reset, Learn to love me and How to cure boredom with murder, are going to be unfinished and abandoned.

It’s been way too long between updates and I’ve constantly thought about abandoning them anyway. Life had been getting in the way so much that I had no energy or motivation to even write a sentence of the next chapter.

I had seen a comment under one of Mark’s videos that made me question myself and made me feel uncomfortable with what I’ve been writing. I discussed it with some friends and although I know I don’t take the ship seriously and mostly use it as a creative outlet, the comment still rattled me. It still does. 

But the thing that made my decision final, was Mark. His video “I want to believe : Revenge of the Septiplier” made me _really_ question myself. I had felt even worse about what I’d written and had been writing that I wanted to delete everything. I still do.. And I probably will. 

To me, the ship was a fantasy. It was a Fairytale relationship that I adored and still do. But I don’t want to write it anymore. There is nothing wrong with it, I don’t want to discourage anyone from writing it or any ship they have. I just simply don’t want to play a role in it the way I have been. I may still read it, but that’s as far as that will go, and even then, I don’t know if I will.

I’m going to delete my account, all my work and start anew. The original, non-ship work, will go on my new account. This Author Note will go on these stories for a day or two, before they will be deleted.

So lovelies, this is goodbye from Roosterbytes. I wish you all the best and hope to see you around.


End file.
